Resources>Social & Emotional Learning>Understanding Feelings
Understanding Big Feelings: A Preschool Parent & Educator Guide:
Children are still learning to name feelings, manage frustration, wait, share, and recover after disappointment. Big reactions are often communication, not “bad behaviour.”
Feelings are a normal part of being human. Preschoolers experience emotions just as strongly as adults, but they often lack the words and skills to express them appropriately.
What's typical?
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Crying when disappointed
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Having tantrums when tired
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Feeling jealous of siblings
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Being excited and unable to sit still
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Feeling nervous in new situations
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Becoming frustrated when things are difficult
What is it?
Children are still learning to name feelings, manage frustration, wait, share, and recover after disappointment. Big reactions are often communication, not “bad behaviour.”
Feelings are a normal part of being human. Preschoolers experience emotions just as strongly as adults, but they often lack the words and skills to express them appropriately.
Why does it happen?
Preschoolers are still developing:
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Emotional regulation
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Communication skills
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Impulse control
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Problem-solving abilities
When these skills are still growing, emotions often come out through behaviour.
What can adults do?
A short list:
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Stay calm
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Name the feeling
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Listen first
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Set limits when needed
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Help children solve problems
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Model healthy emotional expression
What should adults avoid?
Things like:
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“Stop crying.”
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“You’re fine.”
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“Big boys don’t cry.”
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“There’s nothing to be upset about.”
Not because adults are trying to be mean, but because these responses can unintentionally teach children to ignore or hide emotions rather than understand them.
When should I be concerned?
Occasional big feelings are normal, but families may wish to seek professional guidance if emotions are consistently intense, prolonged, or interfering with daily life.
Rainbow Forest Friends™ Tip
There are no bad feelings—only feelings. It's okay to feel angry, sad, worried, excited, or calm. What matters is learning safe and kind ways to express them.
The Rainbow Forest Friends handle feelings in different ways:
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🦊 Red takes a movement break.
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🐰 Yellow asks for help.
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🐢 Green takes a deep breath.
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🐦 Blue talks about his feelings.
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🐱 Purple makes a plan.
Which Rainbow Forest Friend are you most like when you have a big feeling?
😊 Happy 😢 Sad 😠 Angry 😟 Worried 😌 Calm
Helpful Links
BC-Specific Resources
HealthLink BC – Emotional Development Ages 2–5
A great plain-language resource explaining typical emotional development, tantrums, and how emotional regulation develops in preschoolers.
https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/healthwise/emotional-development-ages-2-5-years
Kelty Mental Health – Social & Emotional Development
BC-based and highly respected. Covers emotional development, resilience, relationships, and emotional skills for children.
https://keltymentalhealth.ca/social-emotional-development
Child Health BC – Social-Emotional Development E-Learning
Free learning resources for parents and caregivers focused on emotional development, relationships, stress management, and well-being.
BC Early Learning Framework
Excellent reference for educators and families. It supports children’s holistic development, belonging, well-being, and emotional growth.
https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/education-training/early-learning/teach/early-learning-framework
Canada-Wide Resources
Public Health Agency of Canada – Responding to Your Child’s Feelings
A government booklet specifically for parents of children from birth to age 5 about understanding and responding to emotions.
https://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection_2012/aspc-phac/H124-19-2005-eng.pdf
Families Change Canada – Identifying Feelings
Simple, family-friendly explanations of why helping children identify emotions is important and how it builds resilience.
https://familieschange.ca/parents/identifying-feelings
Families Canada – Emotional Competence
Evidence-based strategies to help children develop emotional skills and resilience.
https://www.familiescanada.ca/blog/9-strategies-to-promote-early-childhood-emotional-competence
Please Note:
This resource is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice.
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